A Difference in Perspective
by FavoredFire
Summary: How easy it is to do the things you never thought you would. Because in the end, it's all a matter of perspective. [Coulson's side of the story during Know Your Enemy chapter 25; Skyeward discussed but not present]


**Chapter 25.5: Coulson's Interlude**

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 **This is the outtake that was Coulson's POV (a bit expanded for this format) of Know Your Enemy's Chapter 25. The probably won't make sense if you haven't read my other story, so I'd suggest you do that first. It picks up right after Ward is ICEd.**

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As soon as Ward lost consciousness, Coulson turned to the others. "Bobbi, I'll send Trip to help you take him downstairs," he said. The younger agent nodded and went to grab the prisoner.

Coulson met May's eyes before walking out the door. He had waited for Skye, Fitz and Simmons to leave before ordering Ward's transport. He did not want them walking the halls as Trip and Bobbi threw him in Vault D.

May followed him silently, but he could sense her displeasure. She had not approved of his apparent "coddling" of Skye and the others. He did not acknowledge her mood as he found Trip and sent him to the interrogation room.

Keeping secrets was part of being the director of SHIELD, and Coulson knew that better than most, even before he took on the title. When Fury had brought him back from the dead, Coulson had been livid that he was kept in the dark- up until the moment he discovered the truth. His realization had sent him on a quest that endangered his people and even transformed Skye into an entirely new person.

It was more than the genetic alterations or the newfound abilities she gained. The months following Skye's transformation were the hardest of Coulson's directorship because Skye retreated into herself and team morale plummeted.

When Coulson first met Skye, she had one foot out the door during all their interactions. One day, it changed without warning, and Skye committed to SHIELD and to her team with steadfast loyalty that surprised him. She was a rock, even as everything fell apart with SHIELD and Hydra came out of the shadows.

But after her transformation illustrated the danger she unwittingly posed to those around her, Coulson saw the skittishness return with a vengeance. Skye drew back, became defensive and overly sarcastic, even with those closest to her.

Skye never talked about her changes or her powers. The only time she even referenced them was when she told Melinda she needed to go on one of her trips. No one knew how to talk to her about it, so everyone began to walk on eggshells around her.

She was flightier than ever, and Coulson worried that one wrong word would send her running.

But several months ago, Skye began to open up again on her own. She sought out the others to talk and even went for drinks with Simmons a couple times. May reported that she was cheerier in training, and Coulson witnessed the brightness return to her eyes. The smiles that had seemed so forced once upon a time transformed into natural grins of barely contained laughter. It was like nothing daunted her once more, and the past couple months were all a bad dream.

It lasted long enough that Coulson became accustomed to it before Skye crashed harder than before. She returned to base one day panic stricken and despondent. She walked around like a zombie and avoided everyone, even Fitz and Simmons. She was careless in her missions, earning enough cuts and scrapes to worry Coulson. May had mentioned that she saw the same bruises on Skye's arms that marked her when she repressed her powers.

Coulson had taken Fitz and Simmons aside to see if they knew what was going on, but the two scientists denied knowledge of anything amiss. Simmons insisted that she was happier than ever when they were out drinking but more miserable than before the next day.

When Coulson had pressed it, asking if they were aware of anything unusual with Skye, the two had exchanged glances before denying it. Simmons faltered a bit before reassuring him that nothing strange had occurred regarding Skye. Coulson had narrowed his eyes in response because Simmons appeared uncomfortable giving her answer. He rationalized though that had she been lying, it would have been more obvious given Simmons' inability to do so.

But it turns out all of them had played him for a fool, and Simmons' ability to deceive had improved more than he thought possible. For weeks, the three of them had hid that they were consorting with one of the most dangerous Hydra criminals.

It had been a blow to realize that Skye's apparent improvement was because of Grant Ward's manipulations rather than a growing awareness of how valued she was by her loved ones. Even after discovering who he really was, Skye still believed that it had not been the farce Coulson knew it to be. She rarely said anything, but Coulson could tell it was just because she was holding herself back in front of him rather than an acceptance of Ward's true nature.

He understood that Skye wanted to see the good in people; it was one of the traits he valued most in her. She and Fitz were kind, compassionate people who expected others to possess similar traits. They saw Grant Ward's manipulations and interpreted them as indicative of good that was not there. Even the usually rational Simmons was allowing her emotions to sway her here.

They could not imagine that there were people out there who would ensnare others by luring them into a false sense of security, pretending to care and be loyal, only to pounce when their guard was lowered. But those people existed, and Grant Ward worked for one of the worst of them.

Coulson had learned that the hard way, as did May, Bobbi, Mack and especially Trip. Garrett had seemingly mourned alongside Trip while he orchestrated the deaths of several members of his own team without blinking an eye.

Coulson did not have the heart to tell Skye, Fitz or even Simmons that their faith was misplaced. Part of him wanted to preserve their optimism, even as he knew it would be better for them to accept Grant Ward for who he really was.

So instead of addressing their false hopes, Coulson had continued the manhunt with Bobbi and May. He instructed the two women to keep it a secret from everyone else. Bobbi did not even know why she was directed to do so, and May did not know the half of it, but Coulson could not divulge something so personal about Skye.

He still vividly remembered Skye tearfully admitting that she thought everyone around her believed her to be a monster and that the pain of it drew her to seek solace in _Grant Ward_ of all people. He could not share those secrets with the others, and no one needed to know.

What little May did know had made her infuriated enough to give her all to the mission. Coulson was surprised she managed to hold herself back enough that Ward was still breathing after their fight.

While Coulson was still lost in his thoughts, the two of them entered his office silently. As Coulson leaned back in his desk chair and stared at the monitors depicting the unconscious Hydra agent in Vault D, he wondered about his choice to hide the capture from some of his most trusted agents.

Standing beside him watching the same feed, May seemed to share his concerns. "Are you sure about this? Keeping Skye in the dark? She can handle the truth."

Coulson laced his fingers together as he glanced over at his longtime friend. "I made the right call, and it's my call to make."

May frowned but refrained from complaining about his secrets this time. "She's going to think you don't trust her."

He considered that and supposed she was right, but it did not matter. "Maybe I can't trust her with this," Coulson said.

May raised her brows. "You can't be serious," May said. "He manipulated her, and Skye will see that soon. Hiding the truth from her only delays that."

"You weren't there when she first told me about him," Coulson replied simply.

May was practically radiating irritation at this point, her lips formed a thin line and her face was pinched slightly. It might have been directed at him for kicking her out of the room when Skye had first opened up, but Ward's display back in the interrogation room was more likely the root of her anger.

As Ward glibly taunted the Koenigs and laughed in May's face, Coulson saw so much of Garrett in his mannerisms that it made his skin crawl. The only time he caught a glimpse of something beyond the carbon copy of John Garrett was when he became incensed over something to do with Skye.

Coulson wished he knew what he was talking about and wondered if it had anything to do with what Skye was trying to tell him earlier. Unfortunately, he could not say anything without revealing that he did not know what Ward was referring to, but he got the feeling that Ward saw through him anyway. After that, he clamped up and stared straight ahead with a face as lifeless as marble as Bobbi asked him questions.

On screen, Ward stirred awake. Trip had left as soon as he dropped Ward on the ground, but Bobbi stood facing the prisoner with the electronic tablet that controlled the vault tucked into her side.

Coulson only hoped she would have more luck extracting information from him this time around. He did not want to resort to his backup plan for more reasons than just the uncertainty with how successful the memory machine would be. But he was afraid Ward would leave him with no choice.

Garrett was up to something and his uncharacteristic silence put Coulson on edge. Coulson did not have the time to wait until it was too late to stop him, and the only person who could give any insight into Garrett's twisted mind was Ward.

Broadcasted from the live feed, Bobbi's voice questioned the silent prisoner, "So are you ready to talk yet?"

Ward raised a brow before pointedly leaning back against the wall and crossing his arms to stare her down. The very picture of arrogance.

And so the hours dragged on.

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Coulson was exhausted from just watching the pointless interrogations all day, so he was unsurprised to see that Bobbi allowed some of her frustration to bleed into her expression when she entered his office. She had grabbed her batons after retreating from Vault D and was now twirling them as she paced the length of the room.

Trip watched her movements from his position by the door. "You're making me dizzy," he teased.

Bobbi smiled lightly but did not stop. Finally, she halted and turned to face the rest of the room, "We're not going to get anywhere with him."

"It's only been a day," May reminded her, but Bobbi was already shaking her head before May had finished speaking.

"One day, several, months even, it makes no difference," Bobbi argued. "He'll wait us out."

"No one knows where he is," Trip argued. "He'll be waiting forever."

"Doesn't matter. His silence," she explained. "It's not defensive, it's strategic. He's probably already preparing for an escape. He's patient and knows he has nothing to gain by opening his mouth. He won't start talking, and we don't have time to wait until the solitude drives him to." Bobbi shook her head and looked to Coulson. "If he doesn't speak, he can't slip up, and even I can't work with nothing."

Coulson anticipated this. Bobbi was very skilled and getting people to open up, but she was right. If Ward refused to say a word, then she had nothing to go on.

"Phil," May said in a serious tone. He met her eyes and could almost hear what she was thinking without her uttering a word of explanation. She was the only one he had discussed using the memory machine with, and he knew she thought it was the best option.

"What do you suggest?" Coulson asked Bobbi instead. He wanted to test other possibilities first.

Bobbi hesitated, and Coulson braced himself for an answer he knew he would not like.

"Bring in Skye," she said.

"No," Coulson said immediately. "Absolutely not."

"The only time he betrayed any emotion or information was when she came up," Bobbi reasoned. "She gets under his skin. We need to use that."

"That's not an option," Coulson said.

Bobbi huffed and pursed her lips. "I know you're protective of her, but she wouldn't be at risk. I'd talk her through everything on comms to make up for her inexperience," she said frustrated. "All she would have to do is stand there and repeat my questions."

Coulson pinched the bridge of his nose as he listened to Bobbi's rationale. The problem was Bobbi did not know how compromised Skye was when it came to Ward. If Coulson could even get her to do it, Skye was just as likely to be suckered in by him as she was to gain any useful intel.

"I'm with Coulson on this," May said. "Ward manipulated Skye in the past and will do so again if he has the opportunity. "

Coulson looked to her gratefully. At least May did not think he was being overprotective here.

"What's their history?" Bobbi asked. "If we can't use Skye, I can at least use the information from their interactions to work Ward."

Trip perked up at the question. Coulson knew the two of them were tired of getting non-answers on the matter, but it was not Coulson's story to tell. He knew they meant well, Trip especially appeared very concerned about Skye and Fitz following the Side Door mission, but Coulson could not do it. He shook his head and did not answer.

"Let's stay focused," Coulson evaded. He observed Trip and Bobbi's clear displeasure but ignored it for the time being. "We'll just have to make him talk," he said grimly.

"Ward was a specialist and trained to hold up under torture," Trip said. "Even if we wanted to go there, it wouldn't help."

"That's not what he's talking about," May said.

"I want to try using the memory machine on him," Coulson admitted with great reluctance.

Trip balked. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" He held up his hands in surrender before May could say anything. "I'm not saying the bastard doesn't deserve to suffer for what he's done, but that thing…" Trip trailed off leaving his meaning hanging in the room.

"I know better than most what the memory machine is capable of," Coulson said dryly.

"Even if we wanted to use it on Ward, doesn't he have to cooperate for it to work?" Bobbi questioned. Her face was serious as she looked around the room. "Won't it be pointless if he fights it?"

"I thought if we could lower his mental defenses with drugs, it might work anyway," Coulson said.

Trip grimaced. "If we want to do that, we should bring Simmons in to give us a better idea of the dosage and potential consequences."

"We can't," Coulson said bluntly. "You have some medical experience, could you estimate?"

"The memory machine will already mess with his mind, adding drugs to the mix could make it worse. I mean we don't want to break his brain, that won't accomplish anything," Trip pointed out. When Coulson just stared at him, Trip hesitated before adding, "It would be better if Simmons were the one, but I could. Yeah, boss."

"Get your supplies," Coulson ordered. "We're doing it now." Before Skye and the others return.

Trip left to go to the medical unit, and Bobbi followed him out, too, probably sensing Coulson's implicit dismissal.

"Are you sure about this?" May asked, echoing her first words from when the conversation began.

"No," Coulson admitted. "But I don't think we have a choice either." He turned to stare at her. "For years, Garrett did so many horrible things right under my nose. He killed SHIELD agents, experimented on people, he even shot Skye to find out what I knew about GH formula, and the entire time he pretended to be my friend. I knew nothing then and just let it all happen. If I don't do anything now and he does something that costs people their lives again, when I could have stopped him if I had just pushed harder with Ward, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

May nodded at his confession. She did not argue there was another way, which he appreciated.

Coulson could not help but notice the irony of the situation. Just a year ago, Garrett had him tortured for information using the same machine he was about to use on Garrett's right hand man for intel on Garrett himself.

Truthfully, Coulson could not help but think of Fury at that moment. His predecessor stayed two steps ahead of his enemies because he was able to think like them. Since taking on the directorship, Coulson had tried to do the same. Understanding his enemies, understanding Hydra and John Garrett specifically, was the key to ensuring the safety of his people and all the innocents standing in their path.

It was that kind of thinking that had led him to consider the possibility of using the memory machine on a captive to gain an edge. Hydra had them outmanned and outgunned at every turn, and SHIELD desperately needed to press any advantages they had. When they finally captured Ward, Coulson knew that if there was ever a time to use it, it was now and on him. Bobbi was right. They were not going to get anything out of him by using their usual methods, at least not in time to make use of the information.

It was disturbing to just contemplate doing something Garrett had done. That was the biggest reason Coulson was so reluctant to go down this path, even though his reasons differed so significantly from Garrett's.

But how did that expression go? If you want to win a war, you needed to first know your enemy- and the only way to do that was to become your enemy.

Coulson sighed heavily as he trudged out of his office and down the halls that led to Vault D.

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 **So I'm not sure how interested anyone will be in this, but I do think it adds a lot to my most recent chapter. It's hard to follow Coulson and the others' mindsets since Grant and Skye don't see their perspectives. I found it important to show how Coulson reached his conclusion that the memory machine was the right call. It also provides insight into how he sees Ward, Skyeward, and Skye. All this time, Skye has spent looking at her interactions post-transformation in an entirely different light.**

 **Let me know what you think!**


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